Is this a "yay" or "nay"?

You have a beautiful talent, to put it blatantly. Your prose flows, and your dialogue is well written. I loved reading this, so I say "yay." Your choice of words are well thought out. And your descriptions....! I'd love to read more! The only problem I stumbled upon is in your "'Call me brother and take me in with their eyes and minds.'" When a character is speaking or reciting a line of speech, anything found with quotes within the text that they are speaking or reciting should be in an apostrophe. But that's it. It's overall? Gorgeous.